The Fight of Their Lives

Categories: Counseling

Christian Counseling for Men

The Fight of Their Lives

Bottom Line

  • Leadershop Ministries offers Knoxville Christian Counseling, Life Coaching, and Experiential Challenges
  • There is a war being fought over the hearts and minds of men
  • Men are willing to make sacrifices for their loved ones and worthy causes
  • In order to win the fight of their lives men need help being a contender
  • One good question can get you on the road to winning the fight of your life

At Leadershop Ministries we are excited about a new year of ministry and opportunity.  We offer Christian Counseling in Knoxville to help men win the fight of their lives.  There is a war being fought over the hearts and minds of men.  Men are willing to sacrifice in order to win the fight of their lives.  They are willing to pay the price to save and restore what they value.  In order to win the fight of their lives men need help.  We were never meant to fight alone.  At Leadershop Ministries there are three fights we help men win:

  • The fight for your marriage and family
  • The fight for your emotional well being
  • The fight for your freedom from addiction

The Problem

Many men are not paying attention to the things that matter.  Living as if on auto-pilot; men are going through the motions of their life, but they are not really taking care of their most important business.  One day they get blindsided by a sinister attack that sends them reeling.  Dazed and disoriented they realize that a war has been taking place and they weren’t even in the fight.  The war is being fought over the hearts and minds of men.  As they wake up, they realize the very life they were building is at risk.  Feeling the fight of their lives in the pit of the stomach the warrior wakes up.  You’ll know when it’s the fight of your life.  You will feel the weight and significance of all that is at stake in a split second.

The Fight for Your Marriage and Family

It was like a bomb exploding.  The shock wave ripped through the comfortable illusion of family life.  Allen realized he was in the fight of his life when his wife of 15 years said she had fallen for a man at work.  Allen had been checked out for a long time, the enemy used this against him.  The enemy drove a wedge between husband and wife and set a trap.

Another bomb exploded across town.  This one was designed to take out the picture perfect family.  Years of porn had eroded a normal view of marital intimacy, and sex, but when it was found on Junior’s computer the fight of their lives was on.

The Fight for Emotional Well Being

This bomb went off more and more lately.  David felt like he was losing his grip.  It seemed like everything set him off.  He was seething with anger.  After another explosive outburst had subsided his spouse asked him to get help or else.  David was racked with guilt and his efforts at change had failed numerous times already.  They were desperate and in for the fight of their lives.

Gene didn’t remember any bomb going off.  He was painfully aware of a hole in his life.  Things just weren’t turning out the way he hoped.  Time slipped by.  Gene became more and more aware of the pressures against him and how he was failing to stand up under them.  He wanted to make something happen but he felt defeated.  Gene could recognize this was the fight of his life.

The Fight for Freedom from Addiction

Ricky knew how things would go.  He had been down this road before.  He would get fed up at work, score some drugs, and get high.  He couldn’t be sick and deal with the family.  He needed to get high.  Ricky’s arrest set off a chain of explosions that impacted his elderly parents, his estranged wife, and children.  Something had to give.  They were in the fight of their lives.

Don was a creature of habit.  He worked hard and at the end of the day he drank a few beers.  After nearly a decade of this there were some problems emerging.  Don’s wife and kids didn’t like him.  Don didn’t do anything but work and drink.  His view of the world and everyone in it had become warped.  When doctors diagnosed him with cirrhosis and recommended he stop drinking Don realized he was in the fight of his life.

Becoming a Contender

When life steps up and punches you in the face.  You are forced to make a quick decision.  Do I surrender or fight back?  This decision really matters.  The consequences will likely change the course of your life.

How do I become a contender in the fight of my life?

You decided to become a contender.  The fight of your life will cost you too much if you surrender.  You realize you’re a fighter.  On this issue, on this day, you are not going to take it.  You have few skills and limited resources.  You feel defeated, how can you become a contender?

First, you must recognize that people are not your enemy.  People cannot be the problem.  Problems are problems and people are people.  Don’t get this confused.  The temptation to see others as the problem is a powerful deception.  It leads to fighting the wrong fight.  Your spouse, children, associates, are not problems to be eliminated.  They are people to love.

Second, you must recognize that problem solving is a creative process.  Plumbing, electrical, automotive, relationships, marriages, business deals, etc all require creative problem solving.  If you approach every problem the same way you will get your lights knocked out.

Third, you need new skills (tools).  Leadership is about influence and a thousand other powerful things.  Commit yourself to learning some new skills and trying them to improve relationships and solve problems.

Your Leadership Question

Let’s think for just a minute.  You just got introduced to the fight of your life.  You are hurting.  There is no quick fix for that.  Once you have had time to accept the gravity of your situation you will make some critical choices.  There are an infinite number of questions a coach or therapist might ask to help you move forward. One good question can get you on the road to winning the fight of your life.

What can you do this week to keep from making things worse?

Most men will turn to some form of “standard solution.”  What does a “standard solution” look like?

  • Escapism via alcohol, drugs, and porn
  • Isolation from others by hibernating in a man cave
  • Fighting the wrong fight with worry, stress, resentment, frustration, and anger

When you take these “standard solutions” off the table, what can you do this week to keep from making things worse?

We would love to hear how you answer this question.  It just might help another man win the fight of his life.

Author: Todd Davis, PhD, MFT, LADC

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