Real Recovery

Categories: Counseling

Real Recovery

Finding Real Recovery

Many people struggle along for years not finding real recovery.  They are trapped in a search for a goal that just doesn’t feel real.  In many cases they can recite the slogans but don’t report the joy of new life in recovery. Consequently recovery doesn’t feel real or seem possible.  Being stuck at this phase of recovery compounds suffering.  I want to point in a new direction and provide some helpful ways to work through it.
I recently read an article that captured a piece of my own journey the past few years.  By nature I am a planner.  I love visioning and goal setting.  I think they are wonderful exercises.  A couple years ago I was given a message, “you make plans but the Lord laughs.”  It was a prophetic statement that invited me to give up the tyranny of goals and experience the freedom of real recovery.  I pretty much crapped my pants, because planning is a comforting process to me.  It focuses on what I can do.  It keeps me in control.  God laughs at that because He has plans for me.  He is in control.  I am learning to let go.

What Is Addiction

What is addiction?
Real Recovery
One of my favorite questions is “what is addiction?”  It should be answered over and over in many different ways.  Addiction is goal directed behavior.  The cycle of addiction looks like this: desire-seek-find-do-consequences.  This pattern is fast, numb, and goal directed.  The more this pattern is followed the less important any consequences (positive or negative results) are.  Life becomes all about the chase.

To Do List

Many people suggest many kinds of things you have to do for recovery.  Perhaps you have tried them and still feel stuck.  These remedies it seems, work for others but not for you.  Try and try again you dive into the remedy with more vigor than before only to be disappointed with how artificial it feels.
  • You gotta want it
  • It works if you work it
  • Take all 12 steps
  • Tough love
  • Detox
  • Rehab
  • Relocation
  • People, places, and things

Real Recovery


I want to point in a new direction.  Stop chasing.  You chased addiction and now you chase recovery.  Nothing has really changed.  Rather than chasing an experience, a feeling, or another day seek to establish a new way of living life.  Imagine a life where you don’t chase things.  Imagine being delivered out of the fast and furious chase with it’s life numbing goals into a freedom of the present, where you can have peace and be truly alive.  Just imagine.
Chances are you sat with that idea for a nanosecond.  It didn’t work.  That is the problem I am inviting you to solve.  Slow your roll.  Imagine being delivered.  Learn to focus your mind, body, soul, and spirit.

Growth Habits

The great redwoods, kudzu, live oaks, and crab grass each have their own growth habit.  They will consistently grow according to their growth habit and so do you and I.  Establishing a process takes massive amounts of effort for a short time.  Once established the growth habit runs in the background doing it’s thing.  Maintenance takes much less effort and the growth continues year after year.
Real Recovery
Real Recovery
Real Recovery
Real Recovery

Practical Steps Toward Growth

Be Grateful: Begin by getting your head right.  Identify the life giving elements in your present circumstances.  Note that which you are grateful for.  Hold that in your mind for a moment and let it nourish your soul.
Connect: Learn to savor the moments.  Connect your thirst, the water you drink, and feeling satisfied with how that was provided to you.  Do the same with your food.  In time you will savor a quiet moment, friendships, etc.
Learn: Your personal leadership impacts everything in your life.  Choose a subject to learn about each month; read and watch videos on the topic.
Act: Put learning into action.  Knowing means doing. Set up a challenge that requires your new knowledge to be applied.
Being grateful, connected, learning, and acting from the soul is radically different than chasing a remedy with your head filled with goals.  When you thirst and water is given to you the most natural thing is to drink.  May you drink deeply from Living Water.
Contact Todd Davis at to learn more about Christian Counseling, Life Coaching, and personal challenges to help you win the fight of your life.
Author: Todd Davis, PhD, MFT, LADC

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