Relational Recovery

Categories: Counseling

Relational Recovery

How We Relate to People, Places, and Things.

Strong Recovery

Relational Recovery

Our series on Strong Recovery continues with relational recovery.

How we relate to people, places, and things changes with addiction.  Strong Recovery restores a proper and healthy balance to the way we relate to everything.  We call this Relational Recovery and it’s a key element in winning the fight of your life.

How do you relate to people, places, and things?

With addiction all these “others” are brought to serve your agenda of getting high.  Everything and everyone is made to revolve around it.  With that selfish bend; genuine relationships begin to die.  They take on a one dimensional aspect that healthy people don’t tolerate for long. This reduction in the quality and quantity of relationships is not limited to people.  It also extends to places and things.  In addiction the things we used to enjoy and the places we loved to go are no longer something we relate to in the same way.  We stop hunting, fishing, going to the gym, worshiping God, working on hot rods, traveling, and meaningful activities.  As a result, the world of addiction becomes smaller and smaller until only two things exist.  You and it.  When this happens you don’t have long before you lose the fight of your life.

How does one recover relationally?

Many people have attempted to do this by changing all of the people, places, and things in their lives.  They relocate, get new jobs, change friends, and avoid family.  Unfortunately this puts the blame on the “others”.  It completely avoids accepting personal responsibility.  Eventually these “solutions” deteriorate into the same old pattern all over again.
In Genesis we read that after creating everything, “God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!” (Genesis 1:31)  Then in chapter 2 God creates man and says “It is not good for the man to be alone”. God creates woman, sets rules and boundaries and in a short time we have relational problems.  The issue isn’t what is in the world (God, serpent, mankind, and stuff) the issue is how we relate to it all.
I remember this episode of Star Trek (pretty much all of them) where the Enterprise is about to be sucked into a black hole/singularity and they use all the ships power to blast free from the gravitational pull that threatens everyone on board.  This involves a maneuver called “ejecting the core”.  The idea of ejecting the core of addiction to find recovery is helpful.  Relational recovery will take a lot of effort to change what is at the center of your life and how you relate to people, places, and things.  As your efforts begin to produce results you will experience a freedom to relate to people, places, and things in a fresh new way.  You will notice how selfishness is reduced and how the things that you say are most loved and important really are loved and important.  Your moral compass will begin to work again and others will recognize this as integrity.
Strong recovery involves many significant elements because addiction damages every element of our lives. Strong Recovery restores a proper and healthy balance to the way we relate to people, places, and things.  We call this Relational Recovery and it’s a key element in winning the fight of your life.
If you would like more help winning the fight of your life contact Todd Davis at Leadershop Ministries or visit us on Facebook for tools, encouragement, and Leadershop Challenges.

 

Author: Todd Davis, PhD, MFT, LADC

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