Leadership Begins at Home

Categories: Coaching,Counseling

Family Leadership

Leadership is a subject I enjoy.  Leadership has a wide range of areas to study and learn from but emerging leadership peaks my interest most. I like to see the struggle of emerging leadership in the family.  This is the birth place and training ground where God makes boys and girls into men and women.  The family is where Mothers and Fathers are formed; and love, respect, and sacrifice are demonstrated.  Leadership begins at home. Home is where your story begins and why Family Leadership is so important.
Take your family in a new direction

Family Drama

The harsh reality is every home has some crazy stuff that really makes you question the effectiveness of the family.  Abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, mental illness, serious illness, financial stress, criminal behavior, selfishness and garden variety chaos.  In all of these cases kids are growing up and thinking this is totally normal.  It is the ocean of their experience and the very air they breathe.  It is a natural environment for them. As they get exposed to other families they start to evaluate what they have considered normal or natural.  After some time of contemplation, they begin to make decisions that shape the trajectory of their life.

Leadership Ability

The families ability to produce, and reproduce adults capable of love, respect, and sacrifice hinges on family leadership. Personal success will be limited by your leadership.  To change the effectiveness of the family the heads of household must lift their leadership ability. In families with crazy stuff you have a serious dark force influencing everyone in the home.  That darkness wants to keep you disconnected from God’s true authority. When you are in the dark you need a source of light. Lifting your leadership ability in dark times is challenging. There are many many ways to raise your leadership ability. In each and every case as we become more influential our leadership ability grows. Here are 5 principles that will help raise your leadership abilities.

Five Points of Leadership

Leadership is influence.
Leadership seeks to put light in a dark place.
Leadership will consistently make sacrifice, love, and respect a high priority.
Leadership will seek to grow and learn.
Leadership will be better equipped for the crazy stuff next year.
The BIG responsibility of leadership is to avoid being swept up in the whirlwind of daily life. Once swept up inside the whirlwind things get worse instead of better.  Leaders understand that change requires action.

Biblical Character Example

I want to encourage you with a message of hope.  The book of Acts is a historical outline of the work of Holy Spirit.  In Acts 10 we read about God calling forth leadership in the family.  Cornelius was a Roman army officer, who respected God, gave to the poor, and prayed regularly.  An angel appeared to him and told him to send for Peter.  Cornelius did as the angel instructed and when Peter came for a visit, he shared the message of peace with God through Jesus Christ with Cornelius’ entire family. As a result they believed. And Cornelius invited Peter to stay for several days.

Leadership Example

Biblical people are great examples of leadership struggles. In this case Cornelius and his family are great examples of a family making a big change. Let’s consider 2 factors influenced such a change for Cornelius and his entire family. First, God initiated change. It is this way with all conversions. We don’t just stop being in opposition to God. Something stops us in our tracks. In the midst of the busyness of life, something breaks through and gets our attention. Something convicts us of what we have been about and leads our thoughts and feelings toward God.
Second, some other factors that influence readiness were present for them to believe. More often than not, struggle, suffering, and difficulty combine with leadership to create readiness. We don’t know what made Cornelius ready for change but odds are it was enough to change the status quo.  I am sure that as an army officer of the occupying force in Judea it was frowned upon to seek God.  After all Romans believed that Caesar was god. Cornelius was applying leadership inside the home.  He was taking his family on a path that he believed was right.  He sought God when the culture around him was against it and the religion around him was foreign. It takes character to go against the tide and that task is never easy so there must have been overwhelming evidence to support changing.

Leadership in the Midst

Changing is hard. In order to make change happen it requires leadership. Making change in the family is one of the first leadership challenges many people face. Family leadership is hard to apply in the midst of daily life. The application of family leadership in daily life is a challenge because daily life has a momentum of its own.  Getting swept up in the whirlwind of an argument may seem like a daily event.
Imagine that Cornelius’ family had a daily argument. Cornelius walks home readying himself for the transition from work to family. As soon as he walks through the door he hears, “The Jews think this and we Romans know that”, the kids are yelling again.  Without a moments hesitation he says, “Why don’t you kids shut your yaps, I had to deal with capital punishment today. I know how to kill people do you want to be next?”  His wife shouts from another room, “Cornelius stop threatening the kids or else”.  From deep within Cornelius his spirit cries out, “Oh God, how we need help.”

New Directions

We do need help. Moving against the tide, changing directions, and doing something new ain’t easy. There is plenty of family drama in the course of daily life to make you question just exactly where things are going. In the midst of this kind of chaos, family leadership influences the trajectory of all family members. The power to influence comes from Christ Jesus transforming our inner desires and outward behaviors. Cornelius understood leadership and he submitted himself to God’s authority and committed to carrying it out at home. Consequently, his entire household believed. What does your commitment look like? What new direction does your family need? Will they buy into it because you lead the way?
  • Does your family need to eliminate some things that are coming into your home and bringing you down?
  • Do you need to prioritize family togetherness over individual accomplishments?
  • Are the activities you engage in creating the environment necessary to bring forth leaders?
  • Is your family vision compelling enough that everyone wants to be involved?
  • Are the words you say bringing out the potential in the next generation of leaders?
 At Leadershop we help people win the fight of their lives in the midst of their life. Feel free to call us and find out how we might be able to help you lead at home.
Author: Todd Davis, PhD, MFT, LADC

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